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Snowboarding in 2018 – Our Predictions

Here's what definitely probably might happen in the snowboarding world this year

In these volatile times, taking a stab at predicting future events seems pretty pointless. That being said, if we worried too much about the futility of the things we do, we wouldn’t have spent so long banging the drum for a unified competitive snowboard tour. So here we are.

“If our crystal ball is to be believed, here’s what to expect in 2018”

2018 promises to be a big year in snowboarding. For starters, it looks like it might actually be an amazing winter for Europe. Then there’s the Winter Olympics to look forward to/avoid (delete as appropriate), as well as the sight of some legends turning up on the Freeride World Tour.

But what exactly will make the headlines? If our crystal ball is to be believed, here’s what to expect in 2018…

 

Trump Tweetbombs The Winter Olympics

It’s a major international event, taking place in one of the world’s most politically sensitive regions. Seriously, does anyone think the US President won’t fire off a salvo of twat-tweets about the Games?!

“Canadian wins gold despite obvious boot grab? SAD!”

Out of all the sports, snowboarding is closer to his crosshairs than most, given that the Americans tend to win most of the medals. On top of that, defending women’s slopestyle champ Jamie Anderson was once a contestant on his Celebrity Apprentice show.

He’ll probably say she learnt that super-smooth back 5 after reading The Art Of The Deal. Let’s just hope any talk of ‘grabbing’ is above board.

TRAVIS RICE MAKES DRY SLOPE MOVIE

For Travis Rice in 2017, less was definitely more. His follow-up to 2016’s overstuffed, anti-climactic The Fourth Phase was the much more intimate Depth Perception. A few weeks shooting in one location yielded more bangers than his globtrotting, four-years-in-the-making epic. In fact, it was a contender for movie of the year.

There’s a fifth phase of water, and it’s whatever that stuff that comes out of the sprinklers on a Dendix slope is…

So what next? Well, perhaps he’ll take the minimalist approach to its logical conclusion and go where no-one (well, since Grilo anyway) has gone before. Stay tuned for a purely plastic affair, complete with carpet burns and pond-scum.

Possible title: Bristling With Joy.

High Back Packs Back In Fashion

Bizarrely, it seems that bum bags (or ‘fanny packs’ if you’re American) have already made a comeback amongst the park rats. This year you can expect to see more of them lapping the rail line than you’d find on a senior citizens’ coach tour of Yosemite.

Fashion moves pretty fast, though, so within a year the influencers will have ditched them for this early-2000s throwback.

It’s a terrible idea, obviously, but since when has that ever stopped a trend from taking hold?

Marc Frank Montoya Launches Own Cryptocurrency

The BitCoin surge in late 2017 had a lot of people pondering that the world’s best-known form of digital cash has finally reached its peak. Now that the ‘dumb money’ is creeping in, investors may want to look at other platforms. But where?

Step forward Marc Frank Montoya, everyone’s favourite uber-styley-snowboarder-turned-pseudo-entrepreneur, whose website proudly trumpets his ability to generate multiple “steams” of income.

Start trading in MFMoney today, and soon you could be as rich as the pharaohs. Well, you’ll have a pyramid, anyway…

Unified Snowboard Tour Launched

Just kidding.

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