Worst 10 Snowboard Slams of 2014
The fateful slam; the biggest of bails, the most spine crunching scorpion, the most ragged rag-doll, the tumbliest tomahawk, the knee crunching knuckle. This is a list of out least favourite things.
There are few feelings worse than the moment of clarity you have when you realise it has all gone wrong. The plummeting feeling in your stomach as you sail past the landing or the moment your whole body tenses as you career towards the knuckle.
For some unbeknownst to God reason, slams are always a popular thing here on the website, so we've rounded up the 10 most watched bails of 2014 here on Onboard.
Enjoy you sick fucks.
Compakt 2 - Double Cork to Scorpion
What to do when you just stomped a double cork to SERIOUS face-slam? Well, if you’re Swedish you man the fuck up and go straight from the hospital back to the slopes of course!
If anyone ever asks you why you don't do double corks, just show 'em this video and they'll understand.
Heath Patterson - 90ft Pyramid Gap Slam
Watch Heath Patterson come up short while attempting the legendary Pyramid gap and slam into the wall. Good job snow is soft eh?
Our favourite thing about this video is that the camera keeps panning as if he'd cleared it. To be fair, it does look like a cartoon where a character walks out into mid-air and then plummets down. Probably doesn't hurt as much for Jerry though.
Didier Kickken - Backflip without the Flip
If you’ve ever ridden indoors before, you’ll know that the only thing covering the concrete ground inside these fridges is a couple inches of packed-down man-made ‘snow’.
Backflipping onto your face in them is a pretty bad idea, although it does makes for a pretty compelling watch. Dutch snowboarder Didier Kickken probably thought he had this on lock, until he found his buddy waking him up in the landing.
Nope brah, you didn’t land it.
The Wrecking Ball
This video should come with Miley Cyrus' 'Wrecking Ball' playing in the background. Actually, crank up the speakers whilst you watch this...
In an inspired game of 2 pin bowling, this is what happens when you stand in the landing.
Rich More - Giamma Death Gap
We have no idea who Rich More is (his Facebook page seems to suggest that he’s a DJ and snowboard teacher), or why he felt the need to tell us which snowboard he was riding before dropping in, but this is one gnarly slam.
Watch him straight-line into the gap in the Sestriere region of Italy, only to come up short and slam into the opposite wall like a Loony Toons character into a cliff. Ouch.
Eero Ettala - Rail of Death
When Eero Ettala says it's one of the worst slams of your life, you know it's a fucking hard slam.
Whilst filming for this year's Cooking with Gas series, Eero managed to catch an edge and take one of the harshest slams we've ever seen.
Keep safe on the streets kids.
Random Red Dude - Drop of Death
Here's a really good lesson on how NOT to hit a roofgap…
This dude got pretty lucky in our eyes, because that’s one hell of a long way to be falling onto your head… Nevertheless, it makes for some pure internet gold dust. Enjoy…
Sarka Pancochova - Sochi Slam
Good job Sarka Pancochova is as tough as nails because we thought she’d have to be carted off in a blood wagon after witnessing her slam at the Sochi 2014 women’s slopestyle finals.
After lifelessly tumbling down the landing (which the broadcasters insisted on replaying in slow motion, multiple times), Sarka got back on her feet. The impact was so severe that it opened up a huge crack in her helmet, but luckily Sarka's taken it in her stride and has been killing it since.
Penguin - The Uncommitted Frontflip
One of the most glorious scorpions we have ever seen.
We’ve all been there, you’re flying through the air and you know for certain that you’re not going to stick your trick. But what you certainly don’t expect is for your own snowboard to sneak up behind you and smack you in the back of the head.
Scorpion‘s are an inevitable part of sucking at snowboarding and once you’ve done it for the first time, you’ll live in fear forever. Beware the scorpion.
Too Much Too Young
In a snowboarding tribute to R.Kelly, this chap has gone for one of the most rectum clenching overshoots we've ever seen...
Now hitting kickers definitely takes a bit of practice and getting the speed right is one of the most important things to figure out. That yelp of helplessness and sickening crunch on impact tells us two things: 1) this kid did not get his speed right and 2) he gonna be a hurtin’.