— toddrichards (@btoddrichards) February 6, 2014
Word on the street is, that at some point in history, actually not too long ago, social media didn't exist. There was no Facebook to give you baby kittens, no Instagram to show you, what everyone and their mom had for dinner, and certainly no Twitter to have an outlet for every useless thought you're having in mind. We know, that this sounds really awful, and we too have absolutely no idea how people were able to survive through these dark times until the mighty INTERNET AND SMART PHONE GOD came upon us. But what we do know is, that between the massive overload of bullshit, it can sometimes be quite entertaining.
With all eyes on a certain winter sports event over in no man's land, and us sitting in the office behind our desks, the only coverage being the broadcast of the actual contest (not even that works out good, those live streams came straight out of hell, coordinated by Bud Keene), we're glad, that we get a tiny insight into the Olympic day-to-day-life. We tried to balance out the tweets, but Sage Kotsenburg and Todd Richards cracked us up since they set foot in Sochi, so we threw in a little bit more spoicy Sage and cheeky Todd thoughts. Alright guys, we've been at the office since 6.30 this morning, doing the live blog for you, and we've had one or six beers throughout the day, so we'll leave you with this list now and try to make it through the rest of the day awake and in one piece. [part title="Twitter Winnings 1-4"]
This is actually what we do at the office everyday before going home, interns on the bottom.
You're not allowed to pee magic dots while standing up, there's no make-out session between you and the toilet, no standing ON the toilet while minding your own business, no fishing allowed (why not? WHY NOT, GOD DAMNIT?) and you definitely can't bro it out with your toilet while playing with a toy submarine and doing a split. Is there any fun activity left to do at the Olympic village? Did the Australians put up those signs to drag everyone into their misery?
To be honest, this doesn't quite fit this list, but look at just how HAPPY Jamie is. Like a kid that just laid hands on his Halloween candy. We love you, man!
Also, these friendly faces are going to molest your children and kill your family while sleeping.
[part title="Twitter Winnings 5-9"]
Total amount of vegetables I have eaten in Sochi: 0 — sage kotsenburg (@sagekotsenburg) February 2, 2014
Total amount of vegetables we have eaten while streaming the slopestyle qualis: beer, chips, snus.
This makes us really, really sad. Just look at the dude in the picture, aw man!
Oh Danny, we see what you did there!
Still not done playin' 'em word games like a true G.
Nothing to add here.
[part title="Twitter Winnings 10-14"]
"You know what, guys? The uniforms you have to wear are not embarrassing enough, go dance for us like circus bears. And smile uncomfortably while doing so."
So competing in two disciplines was too hard on you, Shaun?
We have a feeling this guy doesn't have anything to do with the Olympics, but somehow laid hands on the Olympic torch and now randomly walks around the village, taking photos with famous athletes. Maybe light up the fire next time.
The journalists couldn't get enough of the McRib today after slopestyle. They realize he will only be available for a limited time. — toddrichards (@btoddrichards) February 4, 2014
Way too smooth, McMorris say wha!
[part title="Twitter Winnings 15-18"]
Apparently Seb Toots was pretty bummed about not getting one of our now famous puppy photo shoots, so he bought one for himself. Listen Seb, we're sorry we forgot about you. Of course you also deserve a puppy!
Marketing genius #1: "Let's produce thousands of hats and give them to everyone in the Olympic Village!"
Marketing genius #2: "Oh my god, what a great idea. Let's make it look like people are wearing gigantic balls on their heads, LOL!"
We're pretty sure we wouldn't, but big up for putting it out there.