To regular people like your postman, teacher, mom and even a bunch of your friends, it must seem like snowboarders do some pretty weird things. From our fascination with powder to our geeking out over street spots and tricks, it’s all stuff that’s hard-wired into our behaviour as snowboarders.
Here are ten things that snowboarders do that ‘regular people’ just don’t understand, illustrated via a series of rough and ready stop motion animations (Animations by Mike Brindley):
1. DAYDREAMING ABOUT FACESHOTS
Getting a faceful of snow would probably not be that high on a list of priorities for ‘regular people’. Snowboarders on the other hand daydream about it on the regs. Come to think of it, we’re doing it right now…
2. WEARING CAPS AND BEANIES INDOORS, LIKE, ALL THE TIME
Regular people just don’t understand our fascination with headwear. No, we don’t have a bald patch under there, and yes, we are a little hot wearing our beanies in here thanks to you sweaty mugs, but chucking that hat on in the morning and rocking it, is kinda our way of showing the world that we do rad stuff, and we’re a little different to you and your suit collection.
Plus my hair looks like shit today.
3. KNOWING THAT 'GUY IN THE SKY SHOTS' ARE SUPER LAME
Ever flicked through a daily newspaper to find the biggest pile of cringe story about some ‘extreme’ snowboarder who has just successfully attempted a ‘brand new death defying move’ and lived to tell the tale?
And why do mainstream photo editors have such a fascination with shitty ‘guy in the sky’ shots? What good does it do anyone by publishing a shot of a dude doing a tindy with no snow to be seen anywhere? None.
4. SPEAKING SNOWBOARDER SPEAK
While words like sick, rad, stalefish and zeach mean very definite things to us as snowboarders, using them around regular people can cause confusion.
At best they think we’re ‘hippy/hobo surfer types’ and at worst they think we’re actually speaking a foreign language…
5. YELLING AT THINGS THAT CAN'T HEAR US... A LOT.
Most regular folk have experienced the uncontrollable frustration you get at printers or tv remotes that decide not to work when you need them most. And most would be a little embarrassed if another human saw their little hissy fit…
For us snowboarders though, it’s perfectly normal to lose our shit at a handrail, chuck our board at a wall, or generally rage on an inanimate object in a busy pedestrian area that: 1) can’t hear us 2) can’t respond and 3) is not the reason we suck.
6. GEEKING OUT OVER PERFECT HANDRAILS IN CITIES
Snowboarders and skateboarders look at cities in very different ways to regular people. What seems like an ordinary functional handrail to a grumpy security dude represents endless trick possibilities to a snowboarder.
Snap a shot of it on our phone, send it to our buddies and when it snows in a couple of months time it’s game on
7. BEING STOKED WHEN IT SNOWS IN THE CITY
Regular people don’t understand that when it snows in our cities, it’s a reason to freaking celebrate. In countries like the UK , where snow is a pretty rare occurrence, a couple of inches can bring the entire country into a state of hysteria. Public transport grinds to a halt, people are too scared to drive to work and schools shut down. And don’t get us started on the endless complaining...
We just run to the nearest park hill/street spot and go snowboarding.
8. INVISIBLE FINGER SHREDDING
Another example of how snowboarders and skateboarders are constantly visualising tricks and thinking of lines in their heads.
What is it about the edges of plates and books that just screams ’go on, front-noseblunt me!’?
9. GOING STRAIGHT TO THE BAR IN WET OUTERWEAR
The last thing most ‘regular’ people would want to do if they had wet boots, socks and pants is go and spend the evening in a stuffy apres bar. For us lot, it’s kind of the norm, and that beer you sip celebrating with your homies after an epic (but biblically wet) day slashing heavy powder in the trees, is far more of a priority than ditching them to get all dry and cushty.
10. GETTING IN FIGHTS OVER FIRST TRACKS
This one isn’t as big a problem here in Europe (unless you’re somewhere like Chamonix…), but across the pond in North America, when it snows a bunch over night, people frequently lose their shit over wanting to be the first dudes out there.
And when you’ve camped out by a gondola since 5am to be one of the first up and some little shit jumps the line, we totally understand the desire to knock his lights out.
But all of that stress and agro over some snow? ‘Regular’ peeps just wouldn’t get it.
11. GETTING SERIOUSLY BUMMED WHEN YOU CAN'T SNOWBOARD ON A POWDER DAY
Being injured, sick, or at work sucks full stop. But most ‘regular’ folk will never be able to properly understand the amount of frustration/depression caused when it’s a bluebird powder day and you’re stuck cleaning hotel rooms, stacking shelves to pay your rent or sitting at home in a cast after owning yourself on some stupid park rail…
Can you folk think of any we’ve missed? Let us know in the comments section below and if we can face cutting out more snowboarders’ mugs we might animate the best ones.