If Instagram was a human being, by now it would have barely learnt how to walk without seeming like a boozed up idiot. But looking at the multi-billion dollar business it has become, it might be a bit more skilled than an infant.
Back in the days, if you knew a celebrity's every move, the furniture in their apartment, the dinner they just had or the family gathering they attended, it was considered stalking. Thank god, we're out of that illegal grey-zone, because nowadays, they're happily presenting all of this to us on a silver platter called Instagram.
When we at Onboard talk about celebrity, we don't mean Kim Kardashian and her ginormous butt, but our beloved fellow snowboarders. Even though you don't have to actually be a good photographer to make your life seem interesting, given the many filters Instagram offers you to tidy up your shitty images, pro snowboarders wouldn't really need them anyways, because their rock star lives of travelling, partying and being cheered on by fans is appealing enough for the everyday user.
At the Onboard office, we spend our days working our fingers to the bone but sometimes even we need a break, where we can let loose of our heavy tasks and stare at pretty photos for a while.
Sharing is caring, so here's a list of our top ten pro-snowboarder Instagrams to follow.
If Marcus Kleveland was around in the 1600s, or snowboarding for that matter; there's a high likelyhood of Marcus being tied to a stake and burnt for witchcraft. The things that Marcus can do with a snowboard are frankly supernatural. He manages to detonate off the tiniest bump, roller, or mogul; and unleash the fury of a thousand suns, but in rotational format.
The 16 years young Norwegian is fast becoming one of the most recognisable faces in snowboarding. When you're pulling in an average of probably a million views per-Instagram, it's not that hard.
Even the man dressed like Johnny Cash on his way to a funeral, Kevin Backstrom, had this to say on Marcus' instahammers; "Have you guys seen Marcus Kleveland? Dude, all his Instagram movies? Fucking killing it! It’s insane, he’s so good. He fuckin’ sends it on Instagram. He should have filmed in the movies back in the days, you know, then he would be the biggest star ever."
Though the Helgasons' shared Instagram account has only been up for a couple of months, it is loaded with heavy stuff.
Eiki and Halldor are more than known for their creative spot findings and getting a sneak peek over the season on what's to come in their newest movie keeps up our excitement. In between you have some nice photoshop trash and also, they are part of Superpro Snowboarding and are promoting it on their Instagram.
We love that game more than we love our grandmothers, so this is a definite plus.
Ethan Morgan is one fella who doesn't give a fuck. If you have seen him hitting rails before you know that, or maybe you tuned in to Ethan vs. Mario, which makes it all the more obvious.
Because prancing around a christmas market dressed in nothing but a little santa hat for your wiener is one brave move. Be it angry Ethan in a furious rant about FIS and their shit, delicious rat burgers at the spot or an instruction for building the perfect dick-themed sand castle, Ethan's Instagram is one to follow. Scrolling through it makes it pretty obvious, that - bottom line - he has more fun than you and loves to rub it fact in your face.
100,000 followers is a lot, double the population of Greenland for example. We don't know how many people were craving Sage's every move before the Olympics, when some still called him 'second-place-Sage', but it must have exploded afterwards.
With the fame and glory this little gathering in Sochi brought him, his Instagram stuck to the awesome snowboarding shots he used to rock, but added some snaps of his new found fame and glory to spoice it up a bit.
He has no problem taking the piss, which for example he shows by pointing his fingers at celebrities or reenacting awkward model poses (that he is actually really good at, maybe there's a second career path ahead?)
Do you ever feel you're lacking some serious gangster $wag in your everyday life? Maybe you've become the boring, average citizen or have already lived the thug life to the max and are now as worn out as your grandma's undies, but the Gremlinz will give you everything that's missing.
The amount of fabric they're wearing could provide a whole village with clothing but they can for sure pull off the 4-sizes-too-big style better than Lil Jon and his posse of dwarfs, so it's okay. Their Instagram is basically a big group of dudes, bromancing it out on a field trip in a dirty but pretty awesome school bus. On their exciting journey they come across lots of nature, plenty of weed, way too many dread locks and also some street snowboarding.
Move over Shaun White, Ipod didn't only beat you at the Sochi madness, he's also another candidate for the title of "most elegant Instagram selfies". Well, technically they're not selfies, but his sensual black and white photos make us want to be nothing but sophisticated and elegant together with him.
Posting a photo of a puma and a lady in a black dress hanging out in the middle of the desert and listing it as 'Inspiration' might be the artiest Insta-bit by a pro snowboarder ever. Also, can anyone really ever get enough of the Swiss man's wildly floating mane? Yes, we didn't think so either.
There are plenty of reasons why we have a gigantic version of Danny Larsen's Onboard cover hanging in our office, but the bottom-line is, that he's just a really awesome dude. We are tempted to replace all the photos in our family albums with shots of his tweaked out Method, but deep inside we're somewhat good people, so we won't.
Danny doesn't post too many photos on Instagram, but when he does, you can be sure they're bangers. Apart from his insane snowboarding skills, he is pretty handy at this thing called art. Though some of his paintings honestly scare the shit out of us, we reckon his drawings are pretty sweet. Sometimes Danny also posts photos of animal brains, we're not sure what to do with this but we guess, that's just the circle of life?
Xavier de le Rue
We must admit, that Xavier was already in our last important Instagram list, but it just has to be said again, how sick his photos are. He must have seen more romantic sunsets than every Jennifer Aniston movie combined and he is not withholding this fact from us.
Xavier is the epitome of the travelling snowboarder, always on the hunt for the craziest lines and the scariest drop-ins, which get our hearts racing by just looking at them. Being a caring father of an adorable daughter, you won't see naughty party-shots of semi-naked women but you won't need those anyways to be entertained to the max by his Instagram account.
Did you ever wonder, how it is to travel from contest to contest without having to worry off your balls about what score you're going to reach? Henry Jackson sure does, because he is there to host them. Though most of the time the hashtag #naked doesn't refer to well-equipped women but to poorly dressed men - sometimes even in exciting wardrobes like a Mankini - this is one of the most entertaining Instagram accounts out there. We have no idea, how Henry manages to get through his weeks stacked with travelling, boozing, hosting and socializing (seriously, does this guy ever sleep?) but we give out massive props to him for doing so and still being the relaxed dude that he is. He somehow has the talent to talk people into doing pretty crazy and funny stuff, so you really shouldn't miss out on this one.
Silje has some serious skills when it comes to snowboarding, something she showed us on many previous occasions, but we have to be honest with you, her Instagram doesn't feature too much of that. Compared to the amount of selfies or her doing Yoga at least. We probably just lost 90% of the readers of this article but we'll continue anyways.
When it comes to the selfies, it is obvious that she must have learnt from the best, because they are beyond elegant and there are loads of it to prove that. Shaun and Ipod would for sure approve. But you have to give it to her for being one of the very few Olympians, who stood up for Human Rights in Russia prior to the Olympics. And exactly who wouldn't want to know Silje Norendal's favourite dark tanning oil brand? (No need to look that up, it's Hawaiian Tropic. You're welcome.)
Although our favourite hipsters over at Warp Wave only use VHS cameras to film their movies, they have somehow found their way into the hell that smartphone apps like Instagram are made of. If the Gremlinz Instgram feed gave you your daily dose of Weed-inspired shots, WW will get you that LSD vibe with the often bizarre and surreal photo effects they're using.
The way they make use of basically everything that crosses their way on the mountain is supersweet to watch in their edits and gets you stoked on going out there yourself immediately to ride "endless frozen waves", as they would call it, and so do their 'Grams. Their photos are basically shouting at you "GRAB YOUR FRIENDS AND GET THE HELL OUT THERE!"
Onboard Snowboarding Magazine
Jesus Christ, you're still not following us on Instagram by now? You didn't think, we would leave out our precious baby that is the official Onboard Instagram account now did you? Sometimes even we have to take the opportunity for a tiny bit of shameless self-promotion. After all, we're putting a lot of work into this to keep you entertained and stoked on everything snowboarding.
In fact, we're putting in just as much effort as we put into the making of this article, and as you seemingly actually finished reading the whole of it, you might as well go ahead and press that follow-button already...