17/04/2007 | by Onboard
By Rasmus Tikkanen
The Glory Moment
It was the year 2000, a rainy day, in the editing room of a Finnish high school. The school provided us with a PC with an editing program that no one had ever heard of. None of us actually knew how to use a computer, except to play games on of course. But still, we decided to edit our own snowboard movie in order to enter a movie contest that was aired on national television. Eero Ettala, Visa Vertanen and myself, were the guys involved. It didn’t take long to make, in fact the first movie was ready in about two days. The name, Storbis was just a phrase that Eero used in every sentence he said, in any situation. It kind of stuck with everyone who was around Eero. Storbis means whatever you want it to: it’s kind of a replacement for ‘erm’ or ‘hmm’ or ‘oh’ or ‘mmm’ or ‘huh’ or ‘hmph’ or ‘argh’ or whatever. So, back to the movie contest, how do you think we did? Well, of course we won… not.
Christian Halland, FS board. Peter Lundström.
The Perfect Crew
After the huge success of Storbis I, we had to do a sequel! Over the year filming for the next Storbis, we met the perfect crew for the everlasting original cast of the Storbis history. The best – or at least the second best – thing in snowboarding is meeting new people and accumilating new friends! And that’s what happened with the perfect crew. It was Jukka Erätuli, Thomas Harstad and Per Loken. What better name for a sequel, we thought to ourselves, than Storbis II? And that masterpiece almost got as big as our latest production: we made at least 10 copies, which went to Eero, Visa, Rasmus, Jukka, Thomas and Per!
Eero Ettala, bs Rodeo 7, Mt Rose. Sami Tuoriniemi.
Sequel After Sequel
Storbis III, was the next in series of films; there was no other option for the name! The pressure we got from the outside world to produce a blockbuster was massive! Sponsors offered us millions, but we didn’t take it! We wanted to keep it simple. We produced a maximum of 30 copies, which was a lot compared it to Storbis II: an increase of 300 percent! It was the same crew, of course, although we always have guest appearances in our movie. The year before, it was Christoph Weber, Heikki Sorsa and Jaakko Seppälä. This time it was Ali Toppinen, Harri Holmsten and Eero Niemelä. This was the first year we had covers and DVD boxes. Storbis I was VHS, and the second was a blank DVD. Pretty pimp! At this point we had to get a website as well, for all the fans. So we did, except we never launched it: there only was an animation of a toilet paper roll with Storbis text on it.
Harri Holmsten, bs 5, Arlberg. Sami Tuoriniemi.
After all of the crew members moved to Hollywood, and the studios were so near, we had once again no other option but to do a sequel of the sequel of the sequel. Storbis IV of course! This time it got really big! We started with one VHS copy of the first film, and now we’d made 50 copies of Storbis IV. With DVD boxes, covers and even artwork on the disc itself! The movie was, naturally, a success, a work of art! It had it all, from broken genitals to Finnish ice hockey music, and it featured stars like Risto Mattila and Jussi Tarvainen. We even had a world premiere at the Board Expo fair in Helsinki with an audience of at least 60 people!
Jukka Erätuli, wallride, Finland. Sami Tuoriniemi.
Blow Your Mind
Now that all of us had become super rich from the 50 copies of Storbis IV, we let the fame go to our heads. Driving around in expensive sports cars, not giving interviews anymore. You know, it happens to all rising Hollywood stars at some point. But we still had a little professional pride, and so we decided to do Storbis V. The budget increased by €70,000 and the copies grew to about 95,000. Storbis V was cover-mounted on Onboard magazine’s September issue and it immediately became a blockbuster. The movie was a mixture of movies like The Resistance, Promo Copy and Chulksmack, featuring legends like Daniel Franck, Kim Christiansen and Stefan Gimpl. Sure, it was a small step for mankind, but it was a giant leap for Storbis.
Thomas Harstad, bs 5, Alpine Meadows. Sami Tuoriniemi.
Sailing In The Wind
After all our glorious years of success, we had become veterans in the field of film, like Harrison Ford and Sean Connery, if you like. We are more down-to-earth nowadays: we sold our sports cars and houses in Beverly Hills, and moved back to Scandinavia where our hearts belong. But still, in memory of all the good years, we once again decided to do a sequel of the sequel of the sequel of the sequel of the sequel, meaning Storbis VI. So here we are again, in the pages of Onboard magazine, presenting our latest rips of Hollywood, maybe for the last time. One has to remember that life is the best time of a human, as the legendary Finnish ski jumper, Matti Nykänen, once said. So watch the movie and pretend you were there throughout all the last years of fun! Don’t look at it like a fu%#”ing movie critic. All this came about because Storbis can mean anything – even you are a Storbis!
Visa Vertanen, fs 9, Arlberg. Sami Tuoriniemi.